Did you ever fall inlove like it was the only thing in this world you could hope for? Well I did, so many times… so many times that I can’t even think why I did. I locked up myself inside and try to block all the things that might hurt me, but nothing happened Im still hurting.
Years passed until May 2016 came, my only wish is to lift this curse upon me and make me happy just for once. Then he came coated with love and light, so innocent and so sweet, caring and true, he never leave my side like he was my bodyguard, for the first time I felt like one of the Disney Princesses. Days passed on and on, until we face both of our fears and tell me things I never expect to hear… that He loves me… “I Love YOU” that was his words. They were like a pill to me, lifting the curse that no one ever love me again, that I wont be happy with the rest of my life. All the stories I made, all the love stories I created, and all the happy endings I painted for my characters, well, nothing can compares to this….. NOTHING…..
Love is tragic, but apparently this one is magnificent! So true that you can make any worst the best. You get so high that you dont even need take marijuana or any kind of drugs, cause his love is your drug.
Then a month passed, and like a glass Im shattered. As the petals of the rose of the beast fell of, I slowly die. She came, the girl from his past came and roars like thunder. He stood there while Im taking all the current, he just stood there not knowing what to do and I still stood there for him tho pain and prejudice creeps me. She tell the whole world how great she is more than I am, she posted foul things about me that wasn’t eve true, she said things that ruined me and she did things to make me look bad. And in my part all I did is to understand her pain, ’cause the guy she loves the most left her with some other girl, and that some other girl is ME. Yes, I get furious and posted three or four things about how mad I am. “Stooping down to her level wont do any good” that was my friends said, I hold back and shut up. Because I knew deep inside me I was wrong, I was wrong that I didn’t investigate about the guy first and I was wrong I didn’t take the initiative to know if he’s seeing someone else. Is it really my fault? For falling inlove again? Is it really my fault that she felt broken this way?
She asked me for a talk and all I heard is the things they did together, how all the true things I knew about him was all a facade. I never hear her say sorry for the things she said, even though she knew that I never had the intention to hurt her that way, even though she knew that I dont know a thing about him and her.But after all that I still kissed her goodbye after that talk, I walked away like it was the only good thing I can do for my self. I run towards my friends, I laugh out loud to cover up my heart shattering into pieces.
…… Two ……
My tears started to drip, like thousands of falls wanting to release. Maybe my love stories weren’t like the stories I painted for my characters, maybe my stories are just how tragic they are like how Shakespeare created his. But what is this?! My world keeps on drifting away, and he still stood there. Oh dear! I dont need a Romeo to stay and stand by my side! I need someone, someone to protect me and someone I can run away with.
Now I am walking the long road again singing my song of death, trying to crumple everything inside me. He followed my pace and keep on crying while I put up a wall, He begs and begs and begs and begs. Each night, each day, each minute and hour, he begs. While She asked me to help her to have her revenge and update her about what he is up to. Then a friend of mine came telling me she talks with him again, she goes anywhere he is in, and she even taking the initiative to get the chance to be with him. While I sat in my room trying to think things up, while my phone keep on beeping for forgiveness, my footstep of his flowers and gifts just to gain me back and all the truth he murmurs in my ear.
Still…. this pain keeps on lingering.. the pain she made me feel…. the pain I thought I caused but wasn’t
Still.. His love continue to blossom…. changing all the things I know … making me realize how love can be so tragic and beautiful….
Still…. I am still the fool who he allures in his flame…
Just like the rose of the beast that turn back its petals one by one to change what was broken but never fix it.